novel

Meanwhile, back inside the dream inside the frown

It was barbecue season, and the season was high. Rampaging away from the Pharaohs, the mindless creatures that even now all around me limped towards some unknown central location, I began to sense that I too wanted to enjoy barbecue season. It was at its HEIGHT! It only lasts a short while, i instinctively believed, and had to be cherished. I looked out over the city, and I saw in the distance the distinctive red flag that was raised to indicate to everyone that it was a long weekend. A double! Long Weekend? Barbecue season? How could i resist.

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The Galgravolt, a fearsome beast created while (Name deleted) was had reverted to a maker after his splunders had been depleted and he was trapped in the 21st century, was a beast that when born believed it was an Otter. The galgravolt was a slave to preconceptions; which was its strength. As such, if it ever realized it was a Galgravolt, it would behave as people expected a galgravolt to act; it would act as the most fearsome animal ever created by the makers. naturally, it spent most of its time crushing clams on its belly in shallow water, the stereotypical otter’s behaviour. Sometimes they could be convinced that they were Matthieu Mconnaughoise, the french Matthew McConnaughey clone from 2854. He was exactly the same as the first Matthew, only he spoke french and ate yeast deposits he grew on his incarnate ethnicity. (in those days, a person’s ethnicity lived as a discreet organism, walking beside them in the body of a polar bear. And on that bear grew yeast all over itself to feed people. This was a result of the presupposition that ethnicity sustained a person, defining “where they came from”, if you can believe it, and a person became totally dependent on their ethnicity for survival. They were also dependent on Yamtalkers for survival, but we’ll deal with that later.) At this very moment, our friend from the hyper-future, Tyra Banks, was fleeing to the hospital to have his bullet wound treated. Would he make it before the Galgravolt devoured Toronto?

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When last we encountered our hero, he was dead, in the sparsely populated afterlife of frown ejecta.  The Grand Frown of The Universe has realized that he could not digest our protagonist because he was unable to give up his personality to become banal.  Or so he thought!  In actualityville, the mayor recently decreed that much of this is actually only perception, caused by the distant human descendant’s matrix of understanding, his paradigm, created by his socialization, and his various lamps which imbue young human descendants with the necessary social constructs to be totally useless to themselves and society, as Barhalluu the Wise intended.  Due to these measures, one such socially integral force imbued by blaser (bland laser) was the force of self-doubt, or Doublington’s Force, named after Chauncey Doublington, the world’s first human descendant without self-doubt.  His irritatingly self confident poncery caused his extensively planned murder, and in memory of this horrid blitheness, the very thing he most lacked was burdened with his name (as at the time, people’s names were vast megalithic monumental structures, akin to the first Earth Layer’s Pyramids of Giza, only seeping nomenclaturational greases and oils.)

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