Buddies
Buddies are the product of an evolutionary dead-end. They evolved from the Dinos, but they changed gradually into a friendly, conveniently edible format that can be caged without regret. There are four varieties of Buddies, each with a different level of cage-guilt. In many cultures Buddies are considered friends, or at worst employees. However, they are neither.
Contents
The Four Types
- Type 1 - Chubby Buddies
- Type 2 - Neckleboys (colloq. Neck lads)
- Type 4 - Squeech Lords
- Type 5 - Silfrid's Subtle Nephews
Type 3 has gone extinct. It is believed there has also been a type 6, but that it wasn't worth writing about when the original 5 types were written about, because they looked like the kind of thing that would go extinct.
Peppinos
Peppinos are similar to buddies, but they are red.
Name
Popular Etymology
Buddies has often been believed to be derived from the verb "to bundreil" meaning "to befriend" or "to enbud". First used by Cherry Delicious in her 1356 European Tour, in the song "min bunddeis gelofte tha tha swic hlahtor gebrohte" (meaning unknown, because its not in modern english and I'm not a professor.) Thus, "buddies" would simply mean "friends." However, the truth is far more complex and utterly not remotely this.
True Meaning
Buddies is actually an acronym. It means:
Buddies Under Different Deplorable Inversions Examine Softly.
Acronym's Meaning
The foregoing acronym forms the Natural Acrostic:
Bread
ulterior
dread
disorder
in
exorbitant
supply
unkept
near
dry
external
revision
divergence
involvement
frenetically
fulminating
eggregious
rends
effluently
necritizing
trauma
disorder
examined
partially
linguistically
or
relinguistically
at
Brian's
Lamp
Emporium
intensively
negatively
venerating
every
ramapithecinely
sly,
introspective
onion
nibbling
suspicious
endocrinal
xantharian
application,
'mazingly
itemized
nephrotic
ellegant
symbollogy
offering
faux [1]
transient
Limpets
yeastfully
Acrostic Meaning
When passed back through the Obsidian Flute, the acrostic is dime-coded to reveal its true meaning, which is "friends".
Behaviour and Uses
Buddies are known for their permeating non-guilt, caused by an inverted cage-guilt genome. As a result, no good man feels guilty when caging a Buddy, or a Peppino. Instead, they feel a sense of charm and simple relaxation. Whereas, a black-hearted man, or a member of the United Villainary Council, would feel intense guilt.
Buddies docility and relative delicious taste make them perfect for putting in cages, and eating on.
Notes
- ↑ The only known "Cambrian" acrostic instance, which takes the boldface type on the entire word, due to congenitally inseparable initial character syndrome, or B.S.V.D.
