Cherry Delicious

From Sarberiankh
Revision as of 13:35, 14 January 2014 by Kalgaathu (talk | contribs) (Taking of the Mantle from Peppin the Wind Hunter)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
Marlon Brando portraying Cherry Delicious in Steve Speilberg's "Cherry's On Top"

Cherry Delicious of Worms was a famous female Cleric of the 14th century. She was the spawn of Mint (nee Ecklers) and Raspberry Delicious, a famous husband and wife multi-Bishop in the then popular Chrispianical religion.

Biography

Birth and Early Racing Career

Born in 1302a and again in 1302b, Cherry rose to prominance at the 1304 Baby's Grand Council of Worms, by outpacing Tomothy Edelstein and Dwayne X in the "thought games" race, 3 laps around a mud track with various hazards and protruding beams of ash and pine randomly ejected at the racers to try to tip them into the yucky slime pit.

Based on this early fame, her parents toured her around the European Baby circuit, where Moustachiard LeMantleford was said to have exclaimed "Cherry Delicious is a good baby!"

Adultion and Proctitution

As Cherry constructed her full sized adult body, it was rapidly discerned by Occulont, the all-seeing eye of Zeb, that Cherry was developing masculine features. In her adultion, she appeared to be a Man, who was said to look like Marlon Brando might look one day.

In order to "tell" if Cherry had become a Man or not, she was probed with the Urproct, the first proctologist from which all other proctologists were derived. When it was discovered that, while masculine, no prostate was present, it was decided by Raspberry that Cherry must undergo Proctitution until any remaining non-prostate was removed and replaced by either a prostate or a stone that had a prostate painted on it.

Eventually, everything was fine. [1]

Taking of the Mantle from Peppin the Wind Hunter

Once she was enproculated, she was allowed to enter the Montastulary where you could become either a Monk or a Priest. She chose priest, and generally excelled at learning the triangles. However, on graduation day she was not allowed to don the mantle of the priesthood, because it had been taken by Peppin the Wind Hunter as he breezed through town!

This was her first test, and she went about it with alacrity, copying old books with stylized writing and contemplating things for many days. Eventually, she sent a letter to the Pope, and he declared the Wind Hunter not to exist, making it true, due to the infallibility potion the pope had drunk by accident in his childhood, giving him super strength and an infallible declarative streak unrivaled in edict history.

The mantle then appeared before her in a waking dream and told her that because of her abuse of the infallibility paradox, she would forever suffer from migraine weddings, and syrupy tinnitus. She reached up and grabbed the mantle, donning it ponst herself, declaring herself Cherry Delicious: Priest Chrispanical.

Sunday July 5, 1320

An unremarkable sunday.

Grand Tour

Notes

  1. Or finely ground up into a powder. Regardless of which, eventually everything was "something".