Obtroscopy

Obtroscopy is a both a science and a religion. As a science, it deals with the investigation through direct observation of Obtroptic Dianterior Vesicles. As a religion, it deals with maintaining a bank account for the mustaches you will one day buy in the afterlife.

While on the one hand, through the use of modern microscopes, you are able to discern trileptic fibrules in the obtroptic matrix of the vesicle, on the other hand you keep a detailed balance sheet of all the good deeds you've done, and how many basketballs you've sunk in hoops, so that upon your death and passage to the Three-fold Ship, you can exchange things for tickets, which in turn buy you progressively superior and more invasive mustaches.

So on the one hand, modern trileptics has been revolutionized by recent innovations in obtroscopic diagnostics, on the other hand, the more tickets for a moustache, the more its hairs grow inward towards the skull, ultimately into the spine, with the aim of alleviating you of your body and permitting you to exist as a non-existent entity (or NEE, or Bad Ghost, or Shitty Ghost, or Breath Clot). The best moustaches are 20 tickets, some are even more costly. The worst mustaches are nice, but hardly fatally invasive.