Buddies

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Chobblin holding Buddy by Bruseccio

Buddies are the product of an evolutionary dead-end. They evolved from the Dinos, but they changed gradually into a friendly, conveniently edible format that can be caged without regret. There are four varieties of Buddies, each with a different level of cage-guilt. In many cultures Buddies are considered friends, or at worst employees. However, they are neither.

The Four Types

"Into the cage with you, my Chubby Friend." A type 1 buddy in Hand Lunch Country
  • Type 1 - Chubby Buddies
  • Type 2 - Neckleboys (colloq. Neck lads)
  • Type 4 - Squeech Lords
  • Type 5 - Silfrid's Subtle Nephews

Type 3 has gone extinct. It is believed there has also been a type 6, but that it wasn't worth writing about when the original 5 types were written about, because they looked like the kind of thing that would go extinct.

Peppinos

Awiwa, King of Peppinos

Peppinos are similar to buddies, but they are red.







Name

Buddies In Council, back to your cages, friends.

Popular Etymology

Buddies has often been believed to be derived from the verb "to bundreil" meaning "to befriend" or "to enbud". First used by Cherry Delicious in her 1356 European Tour, in the song "min bunddeis gelofte tha tha swic hlahtor gebrohte" (meaning unknown, because its not in modern english and I'm not a professor.) Thus, "buddies" would simply mean "friends." However, the truth is far more complex and utterly not remotely this.

True Meaning

Buddies is actually an acronym. It means:

Buddies Under Different Deplorable Inversions Examine Softly.

Acronym's Meaning

The foregoing acronym forms the Natural Acrostic:

Bread
ulterior
dread
disorder
in
exorbitant
supply

unkept
near
dry
external
revision

divergence
involvement
frenetically
fulminating
eggregious
rends
effluently
necritizing
trauma

disorder
examined
partially
linguistically
or
relinguistically
at
Brian's
Lamp
Emporium

intensively
negatively
venerating
every
ramapithecinely
sly,
introspective
onion
n***********b's [1]
suspicious

endocrinal
xantharian
application,
'mazingly
itemized
nephrotic
ellegant

symbollogy
offering
faux [2]
transient
Limpets
yeastfully

Acrostic Meaning

When passed back through the Obsidian Flute, the acrostic is dime-coded to reveal its true meaning, which is "friends".

Behaviour and Uses

Buddies are known for their permeating non-guilt, caused by an inverted cage-guilt genome. As a result, no good man feels guilty when caging a Buddy, or a Peppino. Instead, they feel a sense of charm and simple relaxation. Whereas, a black-hearted man, or a member of the United Villainary Council, would feel intense guilt.

Buddies docility and relative delicious taste make them perfect for putting in cages, and eating on.

Notes

  1. This is the only known overtly racist element within a natural acrostic. Regrettably, it is also the most elegant element of the acrostic.
  2. The only known "Cambrian" acrostic instance, which takes the boldface type on the entire word, due to congenitally inseparable initial character syndrome, or B.S.V.D.