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Raspivonts are a genus of creatches renowned worldwide for their clear speaking voices and their tolerant conception of justice. They are also formally recognized in many countries as an official language, spoken, as it were, by throwing them in a ball into the faces of restrained conversants whose cries are filtered through the writhing mass and become chime speak.


The face of modern justice

Raspivonts have been used by truth speakers and Lloyds of London since the age of the White Hundred as components in Galvatar, the justice dealing poly-being formed in times of great need to combat misaligned hugs and inappropriate hand-shaking among the landed gentry.

It is said that whenever raspivonts are in a courtroom that justice will be fair, mild, and moist, though this is said by sobbing children who are chained to a pipe, so its validity is questioned (though it is questioned only in Spanish and thus the validity questioning is itself called into question, as Spanish is the only language on Earth which is intrinsically invalid and which possesses no words worth speaking.)

Judges allow raspivonts to possess their minds temporarily in order to error-check their rash judgments. They do this by comparing them to the slow judgments of the raspivonts, who take several decades to arrive at their conclusions. As such, it is not uncommon to see a judge or truth speaker lying motionless with "justice face" (depicted to the right) for several years. During this time the judges consume nearly 10 times as much food as normal, and have to be housed in private castles the size of ramps, or sometimes the size of wine. Otherwise they might get jam dripped on them by mistake, invalidating their commune with the raspivont and requiring a new trial to be invoked. This has caused significant strain on the economy of countries with legal systems, and has led many to entirely abandon them in favor of wiping accused people down with punitive wax, a wax so punitive that people wiped down with it feel that they've been punished enough, and frankly who could disagree?

This 'justice famine' has led many to question the point of life, both verbally to friends and family and punchingly to faces and stomachs.

Raspivont Kiss

Raspivont kissing contest

Sometimes it's good to break up the tension of a trial with a cute kissing contest. Whoever kisses most like an owl wins! Whoever said justice wasn't adorable and did not involve replicating the behavior of owls?

Final Line

Due to the lime proclamation of Citron VI, all documents pertaining to raspivonts must contain the following 'final line.'

Dnandoo, she hoth say, for bryth na'ladoon, devontay.

Hidden Fatal Line

The following line is hidden, and only visible if you are soon to die and visit the Three-fold Ship.

Uh oh! You're dead!